Essential life advice

I've lived a pretty quiet life.  I sometimes wonder if I've missed out on the sage advice that is supposed to come from elders to keep you from screwing up or to guide you.  I think our generation gets most of its words of wisdom from television, movies and books.  Nothing wrong with that, I just feel that I can be thankful that I have one poignant moment in my real life of advice.  And I have some nameless guy to thank.

It does make for a striking image.  The three of us sitting around a camp fire in the pine wood forest, the light from the stars barely illuminating the dark water of the lake through the trees.  Just me and my childhood friend sitting with a guy who must have been in his mid to late twenties. The light from the flames not big enough to see clearly inside the rim of his hood and under his baseball cap.  I think he knew my friend but I can't remember if his name was ever said.  There he sits in my mind hunched over actually saying the words "I want you to know something important, something I wish I had known"  The advice was to my friend, this young boy.  I think we were fifteen at the time... maybe a bit younger.  My friend was staring blankly into the fire and I was right next to him trying to stay as still as possible.  It felt like I'd stowed away along on some ritual right of passage for boys and if I moved at all the guy would stop talking.  I don't even think my friend was listening to him.  The guy said for my friend to find a woman who kept surprising him.  Someone who would say lets go horseback riding rather than go to a movie. 

I can't remember if he added anything to it passed that but I remembered walking away thinking that in order to find someone who surprises you, you have to be a person who is just as surprising.  To be a person worth that person's time.

How you should not convert people

So because of one of my tags from yesterday it made me think of another story.

I was walking to a friend's party a few years ago. My friend's apartment was situated in amongst a lot of apartment blocks so very little parking in the area so I had to park pretty far away. This wouldn't have bothered me normally, except the road was having light problems so there were no streetlamps on, and I was startled to suddenly catching sight of two men walking on the other side of what I had previously thought was a deserted road... who obviously spotted me at the same moment and made a bee line across the road towards me. I couldn't make them out at all in the dark and got kind of freaked out. I kept walking and one of the guys went to get ahead of me. They were cutting me off from getting to my friend's place a block and a half away. There was a van in between us (why they had to split up) so I stepped further off the sidewalk onto the grass towards one of the apartment blocks thinking about running behind the buildings. Wondering if that would place me in more or less danger, get a head start? Or isolate myself?

But before I could head that way they spoke to me. It took a moment for my brain to process what they were saying. Mormons. I felt like yelling at them. I wouldn't allow myself to drop out of my fight or flight mode. I kept distance between us and edged away.

I was only half listening to the conversation (thankfully I can make small talk in my sleep). I was mad, thinking: Which of theses idiots thought it was a good idea to come up to a woman on her own at night? And then I got analyzing why I was mad. I had been scared. Scared that these unknown guys were going to attack me. I calmed down some as I talked with them a bit, slowly walking around them. Putting me closer to my friend's building. I finished with them and walked away thinking: Wouldn't it be a perfect way to rob someone by saying "don't worry we're Mormons"

I always like going for walks on my own and I like talking to Mormons... but that night really made me question going out at night on my own.
Could I have defended myself? probably not
Would anyone have been able to help me? ...no
Did it stop me from going for walks on my own? No.

As I'm reminded of this I think it is time for me to look into taking a level in bad ass.

How you should not meet people

I had been heading home the other night from dropping off a friend Pat at his home. We live just a few blocks from each other so I had maybe 5 minutes in the car. Suddenly there was this teenager walking into the street with his arms up. No shoes on. I stopped and rolled down my window. "Please help me."

I talked to him a bit, he was drunk and scared. From what I gathered he had been at a house party and someone had been pushing drugs. He got scared and ran out the door. At first I thought he meant they had forced him to take something. I asked if he wanted to go to the hospital but he just wanted to get home and away from these people.

I let him in. He was Ty, a first year at the university and had moved to the city just recently from South Africa... hell of a change there. He didn't know anyone in the city and had met these people who took him to a party. He was upset about it all happening and just wanted to get home as soon as possible. He was also pretty embarrassed about having to ask a stranger for help.

I called Pat to let him know that I was giving a kid a ride to the other end of town... just in case. Turns out I had nothing to worry about. The most the kid did was slowly pass out but I kept waking him up before he slipped too low in his seat. I drove him all the way to his garage. Thankfully he had a code to get in and not a key because he left his jacket at the house party too.

Called Pat back and he was relieved to hear it went well and declared that I've won for strangest experience between our homes.