How you should not convert people

So because of one of my tags from yesterday it made me think of another story.

I was walking to a friend's party a few years ago. My friend's apartment was situated in amongst a lot of apartment blocks so very little parking in the area so I had to park pretty far away. This wouldn't have bothered me normally, except the road was having light problems so there were no streetlamps on, and I was startled to suddenly catching sight of two men walking on the other side of what I had previously thought was a deserted road... who obviously spotted me at the same moment and made a bee line across the road towards me. I couldn't make them out at all in the dark and got kind of freaked out. I kept walking and one of the guys went to get ahead of me. They were cutting me off from getting to my friend's place a block and a half away. There was a van in between us (why they had to split up) so I stepped further off the sidewalk onto the grass towards one of the apartment blocks thinking about running behind the buildings. Wondering if that would place me in more or less danger, get a head start? Or isolate myself?

But before I could head that way they spoke to me. It took a moment for my brain to process what they were saying. Mormons. I felt like yelling at them. I wouldn't allow myself to drop out of my fight or flight mode. I kept distance between us and edged away.

I was only half listening to the conversation (thankfully I can make small talk in my sleep). I was mad, thinking: Which of theses idiots thought it was a good idea to come up to a woman on her own at night? And then I got analyzing why I was mad. I had been scared. Scared that these unknown guys were going to attack me. I calmed down some as I talked with them a bit, slowly walking around them. Putting me closer to my friend's building. I finished with them and walked away thinking: Wouldn't it be a perfect way to rob someone by saying "don't worry we're Mormons"

I always like going for walks on my own and I like talking to Mormons... but that night really made me question going out at night on my own.
Could I have defended myself? probably not
Would anyone have been able to help me? ...no
Did it stop me from going for walks on my own? No.

As I'm reminded of this I think it is time for me to look into taking a level in bad ass.

Saving the sick from the Mormons

I stopped by my friend Ben's house on my way home this afternoon. He was sitting out on his porch and I spotted his hair from the street, yes I was surprised by the volume of it myself. So I parked and walked back to say hi and found him exceedingly happy that I was not an old person coming to bother him. Apparently he is a type of elderly magnet when he is sick, causing those of graduated years to come over and share the same story that they told him the last time he was sick. Too bad none of the stories are in the awesome vein of Princess Bride. We spent a good portion of our time chatting and having many a good laugh. We have essentially the same taste in jokes and he can handle my more macabre humour admirably.

We finished the get together by hunting a squirrel that has been irritating his mother for the past few years. I walked out into her garden and slowly herded it towards and partially up the tree trunk. Then... THWACK! Ben launched one of his heavy boots at the squirrel. Missed... but it was all in good fun. I retrieved his shoe and when I turned to hand it back to him I almost collapsed in laughter. If I could only express how incredibly crazy he looked standing on his porch in his skinny ripped sweatpants, tee-shirt and massive hair that could have made him Wolverine's nephew.

I was still laughing when I spotted some Mormon girls heading across the street to us. I pointed them out and he made a break for the door. I ushered him into his house and told him to go rest. "I'll take care of the mormons."

And this is where I meet two nice girls. I think their names were Sister Darke and Sister Henderson, but I can't be sure about the latter name. Anyways I found out a bit about their lives and where they had been. I wonder if there are any limits to what they can tell people. Can they ever tell someone their first name? We got off to a good start with me sharing the story of our epic hunting that had taken place moments ago. This progressed into the possibilty of a holiday of squirrel hunting, maybe joined to groundhog day? Then the speculation on what seeing or not seeing the shadow really means to Canada as it is always bitterly cold. Turns out they have just been in town for a month each but have experienced our winters elsewhere. North Carolina and Utah... oh yeah -50 must have been great for them. I had a pleasant time and found chatting with them was less question heavy than it has been with other mormons I've met. I now have some mormon lingo and can get them to have some fun with a story of mishearing godhead as goat's head.

They were a good team and seemed like they got along nicely. We talked propaganda, city laws and general rules. I always feel bad for missionaries just trying to go around. So you don't believe them and don't want to listen, so what? Just treat them like human beings and you'll have a good time. After a half hour talk I walked with them to the end of the block and sent them on their way. Maybe I'll see them again when I can use their first names... that whole thing of taking on the name of sister must really mess with their heads.

I called Ben to let him know that his house and even his block were clear. He was surprised at the length I talked to them. I explained that while I might have liked them as people and probably would have talked to them regardless, the more time they spend with me the less time they have on converting those more susceptible. But even with that as a motivation I usually just enjoy mormon discussions in the end, I can be incredibly frank because they're a stranger who wants to talk. Essentially I'm always looking forward to my next chance to chat and ask them questions... when I'm not in a rush for class. Ben gave me a good one for next time, do they pay for their tour here or is it paid for them? I'll let you know the next time they want to stop and talk.