Saving the sick from the Mormons

I stopped by my friend Ben's house on my way home this afternoon. He was sitting out on his porch and I spotted his hair from the street, yes I was surprised by the volume of it myself. So I parked and walked back to say hi and found him exceedingly happy that I was not an old person coming to bother him. Apparently he is a type of elderly magnet when he is sick, causing those of graduated years to come over and share the same story that they told him the last time he was sick. Too bad none of the stories are in the awesome vein of Princess Bride. We spent a good portion of our time chatting and having many a good laugh. We have essentially the same taste in jokes and he can handle my more macabre humour admirably.

We finished the get together by hunting a squirrel that has been irritating his mother for the past few years. I walked out into her garden and slowly herded it towards and partially up the tree trunk. Then... THWACK! Ben launched one of his heavy boots at the squirrel. Missed... but it was all in good fun. I retrieved his shoe and when I turned to hand it back to him I almost collapsed in laughter. If I could only express how incredibly crazy he looked standing on his porch in his skinny ripped sweatpants, tee-shirt and massive hair that could have made him Wolverine's nephew.

I was still laughing when I spotted some Mormon girls heading across the street to us. I pointed them out and he made a break for the door. I ushered him into his house and told him to go rest. "I'll take care of the mormons."

And this is where I meet two nice girls. I think their names were Sister Darke and Sister Henderson, but I can't be sure about the latter name. Anyways I found out a bit about their lives and where they had been. I wonder if there are any limits to what they can tell people. Can they ever tell someone their first name? We got off to a good start with me sharing the story of our epic hunting that had taken place moments ago. This progressed into the possibilty of a holiday of squirrel hunting, maybe joined to groundhog day? Then the speculation on what seeing or not seeing the shadow really means to Canada as it is always bitterly cold. Turns out they have just been in town for a month each but have experienced our winters elsewhere. North Carolina and Utah... oh yeah -50 must have been great for them. I had a pleasant time and found chatting with them was less question heavy than it has been with other mormons I've met. I now have some mormon lingo and can get them to have some fun with a story of mishearing godhead as goat's head.

They were a good team and seemed like they got along nicely. We talked propaganda, city laws and general rules. I always feel bad for missionaries just trying to go around. So you don't believe them and don't want to listen, so what? Just treat them like human beings and you'll have a good time. After a half hour talk I walked with them to the end of the block and sent them on their way. Maybe I'll see them again when I can use their first names... that whole thing of taking on the name of sister must really mess with their heads.

I called Ben to let him know that his house and even his block were clear. He was surprised at the length I talked to them. I explained that while I might have liked them as people and probably would have talked to them regardless, the more time they spend with me the less time they have on converting those more susceptible. But even with that as a motivation I usually just enjoy mormon discussions in the end, I can be incredibly frank because they're a stranger who wants to talk. Essentially I'm always looking forward to my next chance to chat and ask them questions... when I'm not in a rush for class. Ben gave me a good one for next time, do they pay for their tour here or is it paid for them? I'll let you know the next time they want to stop and talk.

Oh I forgot the best part!

I bought a traveling towel that is designed to dry fast, but the essential thing is to read the reviews on the back of the package.

"We don't think we've ever seen so much drying power in one piece of fabric, ever." - As reported by SNEWSR

"It seems there's nothing this towel can't do" - Northwest Yachting

Saying bye and hello... yeah I just went cliche on you

Well I've bought my pack and have named it Igor a la Young Frankenstein. It has a detachable day pack so it looks like my bag has a hunched back. I think I love it already. I spent a good portion of yesterday randomly hugging it, and essentially cuddling with it, as I was hanging out and saying goodbye to Emily. She is heading off for schooling in BC... she might be in the air at this moment... I'm not sure.

As for today I planned for my trip a bit and went bowling with a diverse group of friends of Chris one of my friends. I've met most of them before so it was really fun with a nice mix of familiar and new faces. I like how Chris and I know many many people and sort of have a meeting exchange. Eventually our game of "How many people do you know in the room" will be nothing but ties.

I got a chance to chat with the newly married Ric and Andrew which was essentially meeting Ric for the first time (a quick hi 6 years ago doesn't count as meeting someone even in my books) and having a longer conversation with Andrew where I got to know more about what he does in his life. A very interesting short chats, between our turns on the lanes, about the porn industry that I wish could have continued.

My hands have slight blisters on my fingers from whipping the ball. I'm sure it is poor form or something, but it was still lots of fun. The lanes have a way of tracking how fast the ball is thrown. I thought I did rather well with 22km/hr, then I glanced over and saw the blur of a ball, Ric had rocketed that mass at a rate of 44 km/hr. WOW... I questioned if it was physically possible... well obviously it is. But now I'm wondering at what speed a professional bowler would throw. I'm off to ask the internet.